Cravings. I want chocolate, and I want a milkshake. I want french fries and Doritos and more chocolate.
Not sure why the cravings came back. Perhaps I ate something "wrong" that triggered it? I've really cut back on Diet Coke and sugar-free sweets that are so good, but that I don't need.
I haven't been able to walk in 5 days, thanks to bad weather and lots of work. Tonight I'm planning at least three miles with Rus. So I'll focus on that. Not on candy.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Feelings. Nothing more than ... feelings.
My friends Kim and Leslie have both asked how I'm feeling physically since dissing sugar, so here's the 411:
Way, way, way better.
In ways I didn't expect. My thoughts are clearer and the "fuzz" seems to have lifted from my brain. I have zero peaks and valleys during the day; no afternoon sugar crash, no nothing. Just nice and even. My energy level gets higher every day: after working 9 long hours yesterday, I walked 2.5 miles with Rus last night. And could have gone another mile.
Rus and I have been walking 2-3 miles every single evening (when it's not pouring). I added weights/cardio back in this week and while I'm sore, it's not hard. I'm focused on and enjoying watching my muscles develop and my shape slowly change.
It's easier to fall asleep at night then it's been in months ... even years. I sleep through the night and wake up rested. My moods are more level and I don't feel so wound up all the time.
My body doesn't need sugar, and that's what keeps me in control. I want chocolate, but I don't want the sugar high (and crash). I want bread (especially dipped in herbs and fresh olive oil) but I don't want the yeast in my system.
But please don't think it's still easy. The mad cravings and headaches are gone, but I love me some candy, and I want it every single day. Skittles. The Cadbury egg I'm hiding in my kitchen for later in May. My children's chocolate bunnies. Whoppers. Hot Tamales.
But something's clicked. I can see the difference going without sugar and yeast makes, and it's worth it. So I'll keep plugging foward until May 7, when I'm allowing myself one Cadbury egg. Then I'm back on the wagon until late May or early June, when I'll start adding fresh fruit back in. Those Georgia peaches are already calling my name!
PS - One lovely side effect: 7 lbs. gone since April 1.
Way, way, way better.
In ways I didn't expect. My thoughts are clearer and the "fuzz" seems to have lifted from my brain. I have zero peaks and valleys during the day; no afternoon sugar crash, no nothing. Just nice and even. My energy level gets higher every day: after working 9 long hours yesterday, I walked 2.5 miles with Rus last night. And could have gone another mile.
Rus and I have been walking 2-3 miles every single evening (when it's not pouring). I added weights/cardio back in this week and while I'm sore, it's not hard. I'm focused on and enjoying watching my muscles develop and my shape slowly change.
It's easier to fall asleep at night then it's been in months ... even years. I sleep through the night and wake up rested. My moods are more level and I don't feel so wound up all the time.
My body doesn't need sugar, and that's what keeps me in control. I want chocolate, but I don't want the sugar high (and crash). I want bread (especially dipped in herbs and fresh olive oil) but I don't want the yeast in my system.
But please don't think it's still easy. The mad cravings and headaches are gone, but I love me some candy, and I want it every single day. Skittles. The Cadbury egg I'm hiding in my kitchen for later in May. My children's chocolate bunnies. Whoppers. Hot Tamales.
But something's clicked. I can see the difference going without sugar and yeast makes, and it's worth it. So I'll keep plugging foward until May 7, when I'm allowing myself one Cadbury egg. Then I'm back on the wagon until late May or early June, when I'll start adding fresh fruit back in. Those Georgia peaches are already calling my name!
PS - One lovely side effect: 7 lbs. gone since April 1.
Monday, April 13, 2009
The Dark Underbelly of the Easter Bunny.
Saturday was OK: we cleaned the house all morning and stayed outside most of the afternoon. Late in the afternoon my brother arrived and it was time to pack 40+ plastic eggs full of candy. He brought the candy so I wouldn't have to buy it. :) I popped about 4 pieces of sugar-free gum in my mouth (so I would NOT eat the chocolate) and we knocked out the eggs in about 10 minutes. No biggee.
Saturday evening I made red velvet bunny cakes with cream cheese icing. Went through an entire pack of sugar-free gum on that one, but I made it. It is SO HARD to not lick cake batter and icing off your hands. Or the side of a bowl. Or the beaters. Or the spatula. Sugar traps are everywhere!
Easter morning I made a huge breakfast since Rus started a new Masters class yesterday at noon. Eggs, ham, cinnamon rolls, lots of cut fruit, and bunny cakes. I gave myself a smaller china plate and covered it with eggs and a little ham. My son asked for a cinnamon roll; I picked up the plate, pulled one off, set it on his plate ... and then it happened. A full 12 days of absolutely no sugar until this point ... I automatically licked my fingers after putting the cinnamon roll on his plate. The *second* that icing hit my tongue I knew what I had done. I ran for the sink and scrubbed my hands as if I had poison on them. My brother scoffingly said, "Oh, please. It won't hurt you. There's not telling how much sugar you've eaten this week that you didn't mean to." The table went silent. My husband slowly turned his head and said, "She hasn't eaten any sugar at all in 12 days. None."
So I made it through Easter! Up in one of the kitchen cabinets there's a Cadbury creme egg and a small bag of Robin Eggs waiting until May. I thought about freezing one of the bunny cakes, but instead let the children eat the last two for breakfast this morning.
But something's going on today. Maybe it's weather fatigue (we're under tornado watches 2-3 times a week now and it's getting OLD), maybe it's work fatigue, maybe I'm just a goober. But I can hear every single piece of candy in this house calling to me this morning.
Saturday evening I made red velvet bunny cakes with cream cheese icing. Went through an entire pack of sugar-free gum on that one, but I made it. It is SO HARD to not lick cake batter and icing off your hands. Or the side of a bowl. Or the beaters. Or the spatula. Sugar traps are everywhere!
Easter morning I made a huge breakfast since Rus started a new Masters class yesterday at noon. Eggs, ham, cinnamon rolls, lots of cut fruit, and bunny cakes. I gave myself a smaller china plate and covered it with eggs and a little ham. My son asked for a cinnamon roll; I picked up the plate, pulled one off, set it on his plate ... and then it happened. A full 12 days of absolutely no sugar until this point ... I automatically licked my fingers after putting the cinnamon roll on his plate. The *second* that icing hit my tongue I knew what I had done. I ran for the sink and scrubbed my hands as if I had poison on them. My brother scoffingly said, "Oh, please. It won't hurt you. There's not telling how much sugar you've eaten this week that you didn't mean to." The table went silent. My husband slowly turned his head and said, "She hasn't eaten any sugar at all in 12 days. None."
So I made it through Easter! Up in one of the kitchen cabinets there's a Cadbury creme egg and a small bag of Robin Eggs waiting until May. I thought about freezing one of the bunny cakes, but instead let the children eat the last two for breakfast this morning.
But something's going on today. Maybe it's weather fatigue (we're under tornado watches 2-3 times a week now and it's getting OLD), maybe it's work fatigue, maybe I'm just a goober. But I can hear every single piece of candy in this house calling to me this morning.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Days 5-10: Get out and Stay Out.
Forgive me for focusing on the mini-vacation of last week, please. Between trying to enjoy time at the beach with my family, plus 3-4 hours a day of work on said vacation, plus willing myself to stay away from all kinds of goodies ... well, computer time wound up at the bottom of the to-do list.
Around Day 8 I noticed a change: I still *wanted* sugar and bread, but I didn't *crave* it any more. It was rather freeing, realizing that I might actually make it through this! A few things that helped:
* Greek yogurt. Only natural sugar in there, and it's really good.
* Sugar-free frozen yogurt. Only once, because it's too close to cheating (in my mind). But it was pretty darn good and did the trick one afternoon.
* Exercise exercise exercise. Three miles every day since April 1, sometimes more. One little trick: every time I want to eat sugar/bread, I do a quick series of arm or ab exercises, then drink lots of water. Simple, sometimes infuriating, but it's working right now.
The worst hurdles:
* Dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant on the island. Their herb-encrusted bread dipped in olive oil totally rocks. Their flatbread pizzas are amazing. I had a Caesar salad with grilled shrimp, no dressing.
* Cracker Barrel for breakfast. No bacon, no grits, no biscuits and butter. But my egg beaters omlette with spinach and tomatoes was pretty darn good. It's the learning to STOP after the healthy food that's a challenge.
* Mexican. No chips, no cheese dip. Two corn tacos and that's it. And they were gooooood.
An entertaining angle to this: I'm reading the Twilight series right now. With all it's talk about yearning, needs, wants, desires, forbidden desires, etc. - well, I snicker a little at the similarities.
Coming up next: Easter candy. To me, it's better than Christmas, Valentine's and Halloween comined. Peeps. Cadbury eggs with that luscious cream in the middle. Robin eggs.
Around Day 8 I noticed a change: I still *wanted* sugar and bread, but I didn't *crave* it any more. It was rather freeing, realizing that I might actually make it through this! A few things that helped:
* Greek yogurt. Only natural sugar in there, and it's really good.
* Sugar-free frozen yogurt. Only once, because it's too close to cheating (in my mind). But it was pretty darn good and did the trick one afternoon.
* Exercise exercise exercise. Three miles every day since April 1, sometimes more. One little trick: every time I want to eat sugar/bread, I do a quick series of arm or ab exercises, then drink lots of water. Simple, sometimes infuriating, but it's working right now.
The worst hurdles:
* Dinner at our favorite Italian restaurant on the island. Their herb-encrusted bread dipped in olive oil totally rocks. Their flatbread pizzas are amazing. I had a Caesar salad with grilled shrimp, no dressing.
* Cracker Barrel for breakfast. No bacon, no grits, no biscuits and butter. But my egg beaters omlette with spinach and tomatoes was pretty darn good. It's the learning to STOP after the healthy food that's a challenge.
* Mexican. No chips, no cheese dip. Two corn tacos and that's it. And they were gooooood.
An entertaining angle to this: I'm reading the Twilight series right now. With all it's talk about yearning, needs, wants, desires, forbidden desires, etc. - well, I snicker a little at the similarities.
Coming up next: Easter candy. To me, it's better than Christmas, Valentine's and Halloween comined. Peeps. Cadbury eggs with that luscious cream in the middle. Robin eggs.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Day 4: Beach air helps. A little. Kinda.
My Dad has this cool microwave thing where you can make poached eggs in about two minutes. I'm totally over scrambled eggs, so I tried it. Poached eggs need toast to sop up the runny yolk. Lacking toast, I nuked the crap out of the eggs until they were solidified. Crunch, crunch - yum.
Old habits die hard. We visited the Village on the island today - the site of past beautiful experiences with coconut cream pie, homemade ice cream and chai tea lattes. Not today, my friend. There's an art fair going on this weekend (really nice, if you ever happen to be down here the first weekend of Spring Break). But the art fair means kettle corn. And cinnamon almonds. Damn the vendors.
Lunch was at our favorite local place - but the carmelized walnuts and bleu cheese in my favorite salad forced me to other choices. A huge mixed green salad with tomatoes, cukes and tons of grilled shrimp wasn't too bad at all. My daughter ate a bowl of mashed potatoes with cheese, butter, sour cream and bacon mixed in. She and I are the eating-challenged pair of the family: she still can't eat hard or chewy foods with her new braces, and I'm terrified of anything with sugar or yeast. Nice. The Food Network should make a show about us.
Beautiful kite flying weather beckoned, so we hit the beach for about three hours. Rus and I walked for about 30 minutes - which was good. We played with a few dogs along the way - which was good. The children flew the kite several times and played in the (icy) water - which was good. But then it was time to leave the beach. "Mama, can we go get ice cream the way we always do after the beach?" Bam. Sideswiped, just when I was enjoying the outdoors.
My mother was most patient in the grocery store this afternoon, but I know I made her nuts. About five minutes to choose yogurt (Greek organic skim, thanks for the recommendation, Jen!) and another five to search the ice cream section for a sugar-free choice. Nada. Luckily, a few local organic farms are producing, so we came home with tons o'veggies. We bought some gorgeous strawberries, and I plan to eat some on Tuesday night when we celebrate my Dad's birthday. Something to look forward to, if you're sad and pathetic like me.
Dinner was good: my Mom's pork chops (I only ate half of one), fresh green beans and tomatoes. Both children asked for the Bear Claw ice cream from the store, and everyone else had vanished from the kitchen. So I served it for them, trying to pretend it was stinky dog food, and not dark chocolate ice cream thick with caramel and chocolate-covered cashews. Woof.
My parents don't have a fenced-in yard, so we get plenty of exercise here by walking the dog several times a day. Rus and I just returned from a three mile jaunt with the canine child. I'm counting on lots of exercise to keep me distracted and non-hungry this week.
The good news: I noticed this morning that my skin seems clearer and more glowy. And I've never ingested so much water in my life. AND ... I will not give in.
Greek yogurt with a few crushed up pecans is a really nice dessert.
Old habits die hard. We visited the Village on the island today - the site of past beautiful experiences with coconut cream pie, homemade ice cream and chai tea lattes. Not today, my friend. There's an art fair going on this weekend (really nice, if you ever happen to be down here the first weekend of Spring Break). But the art fair means kettle corn. And cinnamon almonds. Damn the vendors.
Lunch was at our favorite local place - but the carmelized walnuts and bleu cheese in my favorite salad forced me to other choices. A huge mixed green salad with tomatoes, cukes and tons of grilled shrimp wasn't too bad at all. My daughter ate a bowl of mashed potatoes with cheese, butter, sour cream and bacon mixed in. She and I are the eating-challenged pair of the family: she still can't eat hard or chewy foods with her new braces, and I'm terrified of anything with sugar or yeast. Nice. The Food Network should make a show about us.
Beautiful kite flying weather beckoned, so we hit the beach for about three hours. Rus and I walked for about 30 minutes - which was good. We played with a few dogs along the way - which was good. The children flew the kite several times and played in the (icy) water - which was good. But then it was time to leave the beach. "Mama, can we go get ice cream the way we always do after the beach?" Bam. Sideswiped, just when I was enjoying the outdoors.
My mother was most patient in the grocery store this afternoon, but I know I made her nuts. About five minutes to choose yogurt (Greek organic skim, thanks for the recommendation, Jen!) and another five to search the ice cream section for a sugar-free choice. Nada. Luckily, a few local organic farms are producing, so we came home with tons o'veggies. We bought some gorgeous strawberries, and I plan to eat some on Tuesday night when we celebrate my Dad's birthday. Something to look forward to, if you're sad and pathetic like me.
Dinner was good: my Mom's pork chops (I only ate half of one), fresh green beans and tomatoes. Both children asked for the Bear Claw ice cream from the store, and everyone else had vanished from the kitchen. So I served it for them, trying to pretend it was stinky dog food, and not dark chocolate ice cream thick with caramel and chocolate-covered cashews. Woof.
My parents don't have a fenced-in yard, so we get plenty of exercise here by walking the dog several times a day. Rus and I just returned from a three mile jaunt with the canine child. I'm counting on lots of exercise to keep me distracted and non-hungry this week.
The good news: I noticed this morning that my skin seems clearer and more glowy. And I've never ingested so much water in my life. AND ... I will not give in.
Greek yogurt with a few crushed up pecans is a really nice dessert.
Day 3: Distraction is the key.
Friday was a busy day, which worked out for the best. If you stay busy, you can't think about chocolate. Theoretically.
Two friends and I walked 2.5+ miles on the school track in the brisk air, and it helped quite a bit. We've had so much rain lately - something like 12 inches in March - and it's been hard to get outside, especially when I *need* it right now.
After the walk it was back home to pack for our Spring Break trip. I'm so used to packing a snack bag for the car and it was quite the challenge this time. If there was sugar in the car, I knew I would eat it. Without blinking an eye.
A word of warning, if you ever decide to try this: be sure you're completely prepared, food-wise, before jumping off the cliff. Since we're leaving for almost a week, we let the food run down in the house. Which meant I had nothing to eat for lunch. So I paced the entire house, packing the children's things, doing everything I could to avoid the kitchen. And I was STARVING after exercising. I opened the fridge and the freezer several times, looking for something - anything - I could eat. The Weight Watchers lunches all had pasta in them. Bacon's not allowed. No fruit, at least right now. Crackers and cheese? I think not. Finally I chose a WW breakfast muffin - and ditched the muffin.
The ride down to the beach truly sucked. Everyone else in the car ate French fries while I held my nose and tried not to smell the glorious aroma. Chick-fil-A has the BEST fries in the world. Waffle fries, crispy and hot, dusted with salt ... So I ate my chicken breast and side salad as if it were the last food on earth. And drank three bottles of water.
I'm trying to keep this in perspective and take the Scarlett O'Hara approach: "Tomorrow is another day."
Two friends and I walked 2.5+ miles on the school track in the brisk air, and it helped quite a bit. We've had so much rain lately - something like 12 inches in March - and it's been hard to get outside, especially when I *need* it right now.
After the walk it was back home to pack for our Spring Break trip. I'm so used to packing a snack bag for the car and it was quite the challenge this time. If there was sugar in the car, I knew I would eat it. Without blinking an eye.
A word of warning, if you ever decide to try this: be sure you're completely prepared, food-wise, before jumping off the cliff. Since we're leaving for almost a week, we let the food run down in the house. Which meant I had nothing to eat for lunch. So I paced the entire house, packing the children's things, doing everything I could to avoid the kitchen. And I was STARVING after exercising. I opened the fridge and the freezer several times, looking for something - anything - I could eat. The Weight Watchers lunches all had pasta in them. Bacon's not allowed. No fruit, at least right now. Crackers and cheese? I think not. Finally I chose a WW breakfast muffin - and ditched the muffin.
The ride down to the beach truly sucked. Everyone else in the car ate French fries while I held my nose and tried not to smell the glorious aroma. Chick-fil-A has the BEST fries in the world. Waffle fries, crispy and hot, dusted with salt ... So I ate my chicken breast and side salad as if it were the last food on earth. And drank three bottles of water.
I'm trying to keep this in perspective and take the Scarlett O'Hara approach: "Tomorrow is another day."
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Not a happy camper.
Headache. Can't concentrate on anything for more than 10 seconds. Took me twice as long to write a press release as it should have. I've eaten my turkey and edamame for lunch, so I should be bursting with protein-fueled energy. Lots of water today.
I want an apple. I want Easter candy. I want to lie down and go to sleep. I should get my butt in gear and walk the block. But it's raining and we're under a tornado watch.
And my slightly damp dog smells like ... Fritos.
I want an apple. I want Easter candy. I want to lie down and go to sleep. I should get my butt in gear and walk the block. But it's raining and we're under a tornado watch.
And my slightly damp dog smells like ... Fritos.
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